Dear family and friends,
I am dead. Fo real. Im in sofia right now enjoying my last pday and prepping to
come home. Im not going to lie - Im tripping. The past two nights I havent been
able to sleep so well because my nerves and anxieties are going nuts. The whole
adventure is coming to an end and Im not sure what to think about it. Im quite
scared to come home and feel "alone" because Im pretty sure Im going
to feel that even if there are a lot of people around me. Everyone will be
living their lives and doing things and Ill be chilling on the couch thinking,
"So.. what do I do?" lol... you guys need to help me make the transition.
I dont have any money so I wont be able to really go do anything.... great.
Lol. I got my flight plans. I will be leaving Bulgaria to Germany with all the
dying missionaries way early in the morning. From Germany on? I am alone. I am
scared. Im used to flying but Im not used to being alone, without a cell phone
AND flying internationally by myself. *Loud sigh* I got this... I got this lol.
I finished my final week in Ruse. It was SOO good. I met with everyone I wanted
to, taught a lesson and said my goodbyes. It was bittersweet. Anna, one of our
solid investigators who wants to get baptized but cant because of her husband,
made all of us missionaries lunch. It was so good. Shes so sweet and I cant
wait to talk to her on skype when I get home. We met Stefi this week and we did
an object lesson with brownies about enduring to the end. She loved it. I
looove object lessons. Im hoping I get called as a primary teacher when I get
home because I want to teach little kids in the most fun ways. People remember
things if its hands on - talking is boring. Sister Bingham and I also met with
our english student, Efgeni. Hes the one I mentioned last email who loved
communism and doesnt believe in God. I asked him if he wanted to meet after
english. He looked at me and said, "To talk about things I dont want
to?" I looked at him and said, "Yes" He looked at me and said,
"..Ok." Haha! So we met with him and the spirit was sooo strong.He
knows perfect english but made us teach in bulgarian. Bingham wasnt too happy
about that haha. In the beginning he had his arms folded and was sitting back
in his chair telling us that he had NO desire to know more about God or
anything. By the end? His arms were on the table and he was listening very
intently. Sister Bingham and I taught about how God is real and how we can know
through prayer and the holy ghost. I told him that faith and action is key
because if we DONT try to search for the questions we have - we will NOT get an
answer. He looked at me and said, "What happen to people like me?" I
looked at him and said, "What do you mean?" Hes like, "If I dont
accept this?" I looked at him and then said, "Efgeni, you will be
held accountable for this at the judgement day. The Lord will ask you, 'Why
didnt you listen to the message those girls had for you?' and you will say, 'I
dont know' and then he will say, 'Why didnt you try to get to know me?' and you
will say, 'I dont know...' . The spirit was SO strong. I was just testifying.
It was pretttty powerful. Efgeni needs to get baptized! I committed him to pray
to know if God was real. He said he would try. I committed him again and he
said he would try but its a little strange for him. Bah. I got his skype and
facebook so we can stay in touch. He wrote in my book some really nice things and
I think I made a good impact on him. Hes known the church for 3 years so its
his time to get baptized and shiiineee. He said we would for sure talk on skype
but ONLY in bulgarian because he doesnt want me to forget it hahaa. He said he
cant wait to see my little kids. Random but funny haha.
We had a 5.2 earthquake here in Bulgaria. (According to the rictor scale) It
really shook up the western part of the country, not so much in Ruse or on the
eastern part of the country. I woke up at 3 in the morning to my bed rocking
me. I laid there thinking, "What the heck is going on!?" Lol. I laid
there for a little bit longer as my bed continued to rock me. I then yelled for
Bingham to wake up. She was like, "Whaaa?" Im like, "My bed is shaking!"
She was like, "Maybe were having an earthquake?" Im like, "An
earthquake?? here in bulgaria?? thats not normal... and how would it move our
concrete block?!" But... sure enough, the next day we find out from our
investigator that there was an earthquake. Crazy huh??? So intense.
We met with Sabina this week and said goodbye. She is really struggling - lots
of problems (cant find work, hates bulgaria and shes completely alone). I
noticed that she smelled like cigarette smoke. I think shes falling back on
some old habits to help relieve stress. The spirit was there as we testified
that she wasnt alone and that the Lord is mindful of her. She started to really
get upset as we hugged and said goodbye. She cried and kept saying sorry for
doing so. Oh man. I love that woman a lot. She told me she would buy a laptop
so we could talk on skype :) That made me happy.
I dropped Sister Bingham off at the bus station on saturday and since then Ive
been hanging out with Sister Speth, my MTC companion and companion from last
summer and also the lovely Sister Meyers who was my companion just a few weeks
ago for only a short time. Sister Pantigoso and Sister Child will be coming in
today from Varna. We will all be having our interviews at 5 and then having our
big dinner. Afterwards, we will all go to the park and close our missions by
saying a prayer in the park (thats where we went the 2nd day in country to
dedicate it) Crazy. And then? We will sleep for a few hours and then be up
around 3 am or 4 am getting ready and then heading to the airport. Ah gosh! IM
NERVOUS haha. Pray that I will be ok as I go by myself from germany to new
jersey. I think Im gonna be TRIPPING without a companion. Im just being shoved
back in the real world pretty fast.
I want to end this email by saying that I loved my mission. It was the hardest
18 months of my life but I really grew. The Lord stretched me in ways I didnt
think I could stretch. He showed me how much potential I do have and how much
effort and work I have to put forth to get that potential. Ive been shown how
to be more humble (still working on that) and how to be more patient (also
working on that one). Enduring to the end and long-suffering have also been
some other things Ive learned a lot about these past 18 months. Im so grateful
for the time I was given to serve the Lord and I will never forget this
opportunity and experience. Bulgaria and the people here will always hold
special places in my heart. I love the gospel. I love how we can find true
happiness through it as we live the prinicples and obey the commandments. The
Lord wants us to be happy - its as simple as that. Sure we will face trials and
challenges but its because he wants us to LEARN, not to feel punished. The Lord
lives and he loves us :)
See you tomorrow everyone :)
-Sister Kinkead
