Email: June 27th

Yo.

The title of my email would be quoting a Miley Cyrus song, Yes. I like that song..and maybe even Miley Cyrus, dont judge me. All in all, the mission IS a climb.

I had a spiritual experience this past week. Us sisters have been meeting with a guy named Mario. Hes 27, can speak english and was baptized this past December. Hes a cool kid but he struggles with life at times, I think. We met with him this past week to talk about patriarchal blessings and the importance of them. He had never heard about them at all and I could tell he was very intrigued by the whole thing. At the end of our lesson, I could tell that he was getting quieter and quieter and not saying much. For some reason, I had this feeling to bear testimony about repentance and how hard it can be sometimes. I then began to share about my personal experience with repentance and how at times, we have to make a trip to the bishop about mistakes weve made. My mouth was saying all of this and my head was like, "wow, wait a second..why am I saying this?" but it felt right and I knew it was the spirit. I felt that he was struggling with some things and I needed to be "real" with him. Ya know? I know he appreciated it. Afterwards, Sister Loss said she was feeling the same thing but wasnt sure if she shouldve said something or not. I was grateful that I made that dive to tell him what I really felt and how we can be worthy to get our patriarchal blessing or to go to the temple. None of us our perfect. We've all been there from time to time. It was a really cool experience.

This past week Ive been trying to ask myself what lessons is Heavenly Father trying to teach me? I believe hes really drilling long-suffering and patience into me. The mission is no easy thing. The mission I envisioned is nothing like what it actually is. Sure youre helping people but its so much more than that. You learn so much about yourself and who you really are and what you want to become. Because the mission has become hard for me, Ive started to talk with a psychologist located in Germany to help me relieve stress and organize my thoughts and tell me whats really going on with me since shes outside of the situation. We talked this past week and she went over some breathing techniques for me to use when I start to feel overwhelmed. Im not sure if it will really help me but Im giving it a try. Shes sincere and a wonderful lady. I like talking to her.

At times I feel like Im a teenager again who is mad at their parents for making them do something. At times I wonder why Im doing what Im doing and if Im really making a difference here in Bulgaria. I then remember its where Im supposed to be and its where my father in heaven wants me to be. Of course, the natural man inside of me says, 'I dont want to do it!'. I feel like Im the teen who is saying no to their dad. *Sigh* Im learning. I take it day by day.

I learned a really good lesson this week. Never touch something thats not yours lol. I am all out of contact solution and I dont have enough money for new contact solution because its 23 lev here. Ridiculous. Anyway, Ive been wearing my glasses for a few days now and out of one of those days, I decided I wanted to wear my contacts again. I knew that Sister Speth had contact solution and I thought it would be ok to just use some of hers this ONE TIME. She wouldnt notice and I would be able to wear my contacts. Well let me tell you something before I go on with the story - Sister Speth has this little machine she puts her contacts in along with her contact solution. The machine runs it all night and I thought, that it was to clean her contacts. Just keep that in mind. So anyway, I get my contact out, put it in my hand, pour some of her contact solution on my contact and then I put it in my eye. I began to SCREAM. My eye was BURNING. The pain was so great that my eye began to shut. I quickly took the contact out and washed my eye out thoroughly. After the burning calmed down I realized my eye was RED. Sister Loss was in the bathroom during this whole time and she says to me, "Whats wrong???" I look at her and say, "I used some of Sister Speths contact solution!" Loss looks at me and says, "I dont think thats contact solution..." I go to Sister Speth and tell her I did something wrong. She immediately looks at me eye, squints her eyes and says, "Did you use my contact solution?" I respond with a yes. She then says, "Kinkead! Thats NOT eye contact solution! Thats Hydrogen Peroxide!" Oh. Crap. Lol. Little did I know, she puts it in her little machine to make it into sterile saline for her because regular contact solution irritates her eyes. She brought the bottle to me and showed me how many times it said in bold letters, DO NOT PUT IN EYE. Lol. My eye is fine, Im not blind and Im pretty sure I have no scarring. Funny story eh? Ya..it hurt lol. I learned..dont touch anything thats not yours unless you ask Lol....

I had a list of things I wanted to write about but I left that list at home. Im pretty sure I hit all the things I wanted to though. Im sorry my emails can be downer at times but I cant sugar coat my experience. It is what it is.

Have a good week all. I love you and miss you!

-Sister Kinkead