Email: May 21st

Dear family and friends,

I am starting my LAST week here in Bulgaria. Its a weird feeling and its finally starting to hit me that Im leaving my life here behind. I felt that at this point in time I would be ready and excited to come home but since I gave my dying testimony this past week during a mission conference - reality set in. My stomach has been getting anxiety knots in it due to thinking about how I have to return home. Im very uncertain about how my life will go, how all of you, family AND friends, will be and how much you have all changed and how I will be in the dark about a lot of stuff going on around me. Im very sad to leave behind all the choiced people here in Bulgaria that Ive met. Ive made some really good friends and I love them very much. Ive gotten so used to being a missionary that Im not sure how to be me me again lol. Im ME but... Ive had a schedule to keep my life in line. I welcome home but Im also scared and I feel like a part of me is dying here in Bulgaria. My mission has been the hardest thing in my life that Ive done and its very bittersweet, intimate and sacred. Im so glad I had this opportunity to be here to serve, learn, grow, become humble and learn how the gospel can really work in our lives when we choose it.

This past week didnt even happen! Sister Bingham and I were having lots of lessons, traveling to and from Varna for LTM (Large Training Meeting) and having a huge branch party! Sister Bingham and I didnt get much contacting in but when we DID go contacting it wasnt very successful. It kind of got me annoyed. It bothers me when Ive contacted for an hour on the street and no one wants to talk to me. It becomes tedious. One day we were walking and nothing became of it, no numbers, no conversations and no people interested. I decided it was time to head back and get some lunch. As we were walking back, I was in deep conversation with Sister Bingham and didnt notice that someone was riding their bike behind me ringing their little bell (Ringing Bell = Move out of the way). I didnt hear it and continued to talk and RIGHT as I FINALLY heard it, the guy on the bike was right behind me and had to slow down and swurve out of my way. He looks at me and says in bulgarian, "Did you NOT hear my bell???" I look at him confused and say, Im sorry! Im sorry! I was busy talking and didnt notice. He looks at me again and repeats, "Didnt you hear it??? Why didnt you move to the right side of the street?!" Im still looking at him confused, thinking that my sorry would be good enough for him. I told him sorry again, that I didnt notice. He then switches to perfect english, gets off his bike, parks it and asks, "Do you know the story of Jonah in the bible?" Lol. Im like... ya? Hes swallowed up by a whale. He then goes on to tell me the whole story of Jonah and how the people of Ninevah couldnt tell their right from their left. Hinting that... I couldnt tell from my right or left lol. Anyway, I decided to take the reigns of the convo and talk about our purpose and message as missionaries. We talked on the side of the street for an hour and a half! I went over some of the 3rd lesson, the book of mormon and any other questions he had about us. He told me that he had met the elders but they were very boring and he didnt like talking to them. He liked how animated and enthusiastic I was. I liked hearing that haha. He agreed to meet with us again and talk. I walked away feeling blown away! Ive never just had God GIVE me someone like that. It was suuuch a blessing. We met him again during the week at the church. We talked for 2 hours about a lot of stuff. How the Holy ghost works, how we can heed the promptings we have, the book of mormon, the sabbath day and when it is, the Godhead and any other questions he had. He wouldnt accept our Book of Mormon but he agreed to meeting again to talk about HOW and WHY we have the Book of Mormon. Hes SUUUCH an awesome person. His name is Stanislav. He is 48, married and has no kids. He has a really cool story about how at age 33 he heard a voice tell him, "Ive heard you my son, now hear to you". Ever since then hes been getting his hands on everything and anything about religion. He doesnt go to any certain church and he knows that icons, candles and anything of the sort that the pravaslav church has, are IDOLS. I LOVE it. He also understands that its all false traditions and its not REAL faith. Ahhh! I love him. Hes so fun. After the lesson, I felt so mentally wiped that all during dinner hour I just slept hahaha. He really wore me out mentally.

We had LTM this week. 4 of us missionaries gave our dying testimonies. It went really well. Its been 15 months since I last bore my testimony in english infront of a group of people and I was VERY nervous hahaha. The last time I got up infront of people and bore my testimony was my 2nd day in country during the orientation meeting. I was very nervous hahaha, its not like me but ya.. haha. Sister Roth gave a presentation all about how to plan and set goals. I felt like I needed this very much since Ill be home soon and I will need to plan my life and set some goals for myself so I dont get totally lost.

We had a branch party this week on saturday. It was a GREAT turn out. Sister Bingham and I were in charge of decorations. It was a pirate theme and it turned out MIGHTY finnnneee. I was pretty proud of ourselves for how well we decorated the place. I got some pictures so I'll have to show you later. We had lots of people there. We had a BBQ, scavenger hunt and games. A english student of mine, George, came up to me and said, "Ive never seen so many people laughing at one time in my life." Two of my other english students, Tawnya and Efgeni were hanging around me, talking. Tawnya is very upset that Im leaving but very excited to skype with me and facebook me haha. Efgeni kept trying to be in every conversation I was. I think hes taken a liking for me,... not in a creepy way though. I love that guy. Hes 43 or so, divorced and doesnt have any beliefs in God because hes for communism but I asked him if he would meet with us this week to talk and he said yes! Yay! Im excited to meet with him.

This week on saturday I head over to Sofia with all the missionaries that are going home. From saturday-tuesday we will be chilling together having our goodbye dinner and interviews. CRAZY. I only have 5 more working days. Holy jaaank. I will email again on monday and then you will all see me next week chillin in the 'VILLE!

I love you!

-Sister Kinkead